Friday, September 16, 2016

Things These Artists WON’T Do

Here's the natural follow-up to yesterday's post, this one featuring Things These Artists WON'T do. Snarky song commentary is included at no extra charge. Enjoy!  ~  JH

1)  Tom Petty  ~  “I Won’t Back Down”  (Tom Petty plus TWO former Beatles in the video? Yes, please!)

2)  Jason Mraz  ~  “I Won’t Give Up”  (I think he means it, too. Just listen to the earnestness in his voice.)

3)  Rascal Flatts  ~  “I Won’t Let Go”  (This guy’s voice is almost good enough to ignore those Guy-Fieri-inspired frosted tips. Almost.)

4)  Charlie Puth  ~  “I Won’t Tell A Soul”  (His lips are sealed.)

5)  Selah Sue  ~  “I Won’t Go For More”  (And we won’t stay for less. Deal?)

6)  James Morrison  ~  “I Won’t Let You Go”  (I bet there were a lot of ticked-off drivers in the immediate area during the filming of this video.)

7)   Tanya Tucker ft. Paul Overstreet & Paul Davis  ~  “I Won’t Take Less Than Your Love”  (That hair. Those clothes. Must be ‘80s country music. Heaven, help us!)

8)  Carpenters  ~  “I Won’t Last A Day Without You”  (Okay, Richard, we get it. You have a lot of money, and you can afford as many cars as you want. Can we please just keep the focus on Karen next time? You, sir, are extraneous!)

9)  A Great Big World  ~  “Won’t Stop Running”  (Nah, I just have something in my eye. You, too?)

10)  Jane Monheit & Michael Bublé  ~  “I Won’t Dance”  (Sorry, I can’t help but ask. Even if she vows not to, and I’m not able to. #thatgorgeousvoice #JanesnotMichaels #hesokaytooiguess)

11)  Anouk  ~  “I Won’t Play That Game”  (Which game? Monopoly? Clue? Candy Crush? Pokémon Go? Twister?)

12)  Maroon 5  ~  “Won’t Go Home Without You”  (Does anyone really believe that a woman would actually reject this guy? If my wife were typing this, she would probably say “nope.” So we’ll go with that.)

13)  Sophie Ellis-Bextor  ~  “I Won’t Change You”  (That’s good, ‘cuz I’m pretty happy with myself the way I am. Mostly. Actually, not really all that much. On second thought, go ahead and change me!)

14)  Reba McEntire  ~  “I Won’t Mention It Again”  (Thanks, Reba. I hate it when people keep bringing up the same old thing over and over again. Let it go, people!)

15)  Lacuna Coil  ~  “I Forgive (But I Won’t Forget Your Name)”  (That’s fine. Just don’t mention it again, ‘kay?)

16)  OK Go  ~  “I Won’t Let You Down”  (Every OK Go music video is a true work of art. Always entertaining! The music ain’t bad, either!)

17)  Poison  ~  “I Won’t Forget”  (That hair. Those clothes. Must be ‘80s rock music. Heaven, help us!)

18)  Sarah Blasko  ~  “We Won’t Run”  (She sings well, and she’s inside of a giant eyeball. That about sums it up.)

19)  Building 429  ~  “We Won’t Be Shaken”  (The band may not be shaken, but that small percussion instrument the guy was wielding at the beginning of the song sure was taking a shaking.)

20)  Melissa Etheridge  ~  “I Won’t Be Alone Tonight”  (Of course you won’t, Melissa. There’s an audience right there in front of you.)

21)  Princessa  ~  “I Won’t Forget You”  (“Any more no more” is a double negative. So…she’s saying that she’s totally going to forget you. Sorry, dude.)

22)  Slade  ~  “We Won’t Give In”  (I was going to make some pithy comment about the song itself, but that jaunty red hat of the singer’s has got me so distracted that I’m dumbstruck.)

23)  Big Head Todd And The Monsters  ~  “We Won’t Go Back”  (I don’t think they’re going back. Not to the way it was, at least.)

24)  The Who  ~  “Won’t Get Fooled Again”  (I think this song is about politics, but I could be wrong. I hate songs about politics.)

25)  The Colourist  ~  “We Won’t Go Home”  (You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here.)

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