Things These Artists WON’T Do

Here's the natural follow-up to yesterday's post, this one featuring Things These Artists WON'T do. Snarky song commentary is included at no extra charge. Enjoy!  ~  JH

1)  Tom Petty  ~  “I Won’t Back Down”  (Tom Petty plus TWO former Beatles in the video? Yes, please!)

2)  Jason Mraz  ~  “I Won’t Give Up”  (I think he means it, too. Just listen to the earnestness in his voice.)

3)  Rascal Flatts  ~  “I Won’t Let Go”  (This guy’s voice is almost good enough to ignore those Guy-Fieri-inspired frosted tips. Almost.)

4)  Charlie Puth  ~  “I Won’t Tell A Soul”  (His lips are sealed.)

5)  Selah Sue  ~  “I Won’t Go For More”  (And we won’t stay for less. Deal?)

6)  James Morrison  ~  “I Won’t Let You Go”  (I bet there were a lot of ticked-off drivers in the immediate area during the filming of this video.)

7)   Tanya Tucker ft. Paul Overstreet & Paul Davis  ~  “I Won’t Take Less Than Your Love”  (That hair. Those clothes. Must be ‘80s country music. Heaven, help us!)

8)  Carpenters  ~  “I Won’t Last A Day Without You”  (Okay, Richard, we get it. You have a lot of money, and you can afford as many cars as you want. Can we please just keep the focus on Karen next time? You, sir, are extraneous!)

9)  A Great Big World  ~  “Won’t Stop Running”  (Nah, I just have something in my eye. You, too?)

10)  Jane Monheit & Michael Bublé  ~  “I Won’t Dance”  (Sorry, I can’t help but ask. Even if she vows not to, and I’m not able to. #thatgorgeousvoice #JanesnotMichaels #hesokaytooiguess)

11)  Anouk  ~  “I Won’t Play That Game”  (Which game? Monopoly? Clue? Candy Crush? Pokémon Go? Twister?)

12)  Maroon 5  ~  “Won’t Go Home Without You”  (Does anyone really believe that a woman would actually reject this guy? If my wife were typing this, she would probably say “nope.” So we’ll go with that.)

13)  Sophie Ellis-Bextor  ~  “I Won’t Change You”  (That’s good, ‘cuz I’m pretty happy with myself the way I am. Mostly. Actually, not really all that much. On second thought, go ahead and change me!)

14)  Reba McEntire  ~  “I Won’t Mention It Again”  (Thanks, Reba. I hate it when people keep bringing up the same old thing over and over again. Let it go, people!)

15)  Lacuna Coil  ~  “I Forgive (But I Won’t Forget Your Name)”  (That’s fine. Just don’t mention it again, ‘kay?)

16)  OK Go  ~  “I Won’t Let You Down”  (Every OK Go music video is a true work of art. Always entertaining! The music ain’t bad, either!)

17)  Poison  ~  “I Won’t Forget”  (That hair. Those clothes. Must be ‘80s rock music. Heaven, help us!)

18)  Sarah Blasko  ~  “We Won’t Run”  (She sings well, and she’s inside of a giant eyeball. That about sums it up.)

19)  Building 429  ~  “We Won’t Be Shaken”  (The band may not be shaken, but that small percussion instrument the guy was wielding at the beginning of the song sure was taking a shaking.)

20)  Melissa Etheridge  ~  “I Won’t Be Alone Tonight”  (Of course you won’t, Melissa. There’s an audience right there in front of you.)

21)  Princessa  ~  “I Won’t Forget You”  (“Any more no more” is a double negative. So…she’s saying that she’s totally going to forget you. Sorry, dude.)

22)  Slade  ~  “We Won’t Give In”  (I was going to make some pithy comment about the song itself, but that jaunty red hat of the singer’s has got me so distracted that I’m dumbstruck.)

23)  Big Head Todd And The Monsters  ~  “We Won’t Go Back”  (I don’t think they’re going back. Not to the way it was, at least.)

24)  The Who  ~  “Won’t Get Fooled Again”  (I think this song is about politics, but I could be wrong. I hate songs about politics.)

25)  The Colourist  ~  “We Won’t Go Home”  (You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here.)

“Ride” Songs, Vol. 1

Another week, another four-part series. Another kinda-sorta "Opposites" series, too, actually. These are songs with the word "Ride" in their titles. There'll be a Vol. 2 of these, then there'll be two volumes of songs with the word "Drive" in their titles. There will be some really good songs in these sets. So grab your keys, hop in the car, and...enjoy!  ~  JH

1)  twenty one pilots  ~  “Ride”

2)  Foghat  ~  “Slow Ride”

3)  Martina McBride  ~  “Ride”

4)  U2  ~  “Who’s Gonna Ride Your Wild Horses?”

5)  David Allan Coe  ~  “The Ride”

6)  Lana Del Rey  ~  “Ride”

7)   Dire Straits  ~  “Ride Across The River”

8)  Poison  ~  “Ride The Wind”

9)  Jem  ~  “Just A Ride”

10)  Edgar Winter Group  ~  “Free Ride”

11)  Jamiroquai  ~  “White Knuckle Ride”

12)  Mazzy Star  ~  “Ride It On”

13)  Milow  ~  “The Ride”

14)  Prince  ~  “The Ride”

15)  Joss Stone  ~  “Don’t Cha Wanna Ride?”

16)  The Marshall Tucker Band  ~  “Long Hard Ride”

17)  Dream Theater  ~  “Along For The Ride”

18)  Sara Bareilles  ~  “Free Ride”

19)  Nappy Roots  ~  “Ride”

20)  Ryan Adams  ~  “Let It Ride”

21)  Kate Miller-Heidke  ~  “Ride This Feeling”

22)  AC/DC  ~  “Ride On”

23)  Kenny Wayne Shepherd  ~  “Slow Ride”

24)  Goldfrapp  ~  “Ride A White Horse”

25)  The Black Crowes  ~  “Let Me Share The Ride”

Songs About Dancing, Vol. 4

Last but not least, the fourth and final installment in my latest pointless series featuring Songs About Dancing. I'll be you think I've run out of good ones by this point, and these are just the dregs. Wrong, wrong, wrong! In fact, five of my favorite dancing-related songs are included within (but I won't tell you which ones they are). Enjoy!  ~  JH

1)  Genesis  ~  "I Can't Dance"

2)  Skylar Grey  ~  "Dance Without You"

3)  The Prodigy  ~  "No Good (Start The Dance)"

4)  Loreena McKennitt  ~  "The Mummers' Dance"

5)  Passion ft. Chris Tomlin  ~  "God's Great Dance Floor"  (I'm including this here because it's a catchy tune and lots of people like it, BUT…this guy nails how I really feel about the song.)

6)  Sly & The Family Stone  ~  "Dance To The Music"

7)  Bryan Ferry  ~  "Don't Stop The Dance"

8)  Anne Murray  ~  "Could I Have This Dance?"

9)  Paul McCartney  ~  "Dance Tonight"

10)  Chic  ~  "Everybody Dance"

11)  Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers  ~  "Mary Jane's Last Dance"

12)  Janelle Monáe  ~  "Dance Apocalyptic"

13)  Digital Underground  ~  "The Humpty Dance"

14)  C + C Music Factory  ~  "Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now)"

15)  Wang Chung  ~  "Dance Hall Days"

16)  Donna Summer  ~  "Last Dance"

17)  Phil Collins  ~  "Dance Into The Light"

18)  Steffany Frizzell-Gretzinger  ~  "We Dance"

19)  Poison  ~  "Your Mama Don't Dance"

20)  The Bird And The Bee  ~  "Polite Dance Song"

21)  Orleans  ~  "Dance With Me"

22)  The Pointer Sisters  ~  "Neutron Dance"

23)  Midnight Star  ~  "No Parking On The Dance Floor"

24)  Madeleine Peyroux  ~  "Dance Me To The End Of Love"

25)  Andy Gibb  ~  "Shadow Dancing"

"Tough" Songs

Go ahead – run these songs through the wringer. They can take it. They're "Tough"! Now enjoy 'em already!  ~  JH

1)  Bruce Springsteen  ~  "Tougher Than The Rest"

2)  Gary Allan  ~  "Tough Little Boys"

3)  Jessie Ware  ~  "Tough Love"

4)  New Kids On The Block  ~  "Hangin' Tough"

5)  Craig Morgan  ~  "Tough"

6)  Kellie Pickler  ~  "Tough"

7)  Billy Ocean  ~  "When The Going Gets Tough, The Tough Get Going"

8)  RATT  ~  "You Think You're Tough"

9)  Vanilla Ninja  ~  "Tough Enough"

10)  Tesla  ~  "Hang Tough"

11)  McAllister Kemp  ~  "All Kinds Of Tough"

12)  Christina Aguilera  ~  "Tough Lover"

13)  Nils Lofgren  ~  "Cry Tough"

14)  REO Speedwagon  ~  "Tough Guys"

15)  Little Boots  ~  "Pretty Tough"

16)  The Pains Of Being Pure At Heart  ~  "Too Tough"

17)  Technotronic ft. MC Eric  ~  "Tough"

18)  Shelby Lynne  ~  "Things Are Tough All Over"

19)  King Kobra  ~  "Tough Guys"

20)  Poison  ~  "Cry Tough"

Songs About Your Mama

"Yo' Mama" jokes used to be all the rage way back when, though they tend to fall a little flat these days. However – as this collection of songs will attest – "Your Mama" songs never go out of style. As you will see here, your mama does not excel at dancing, won't like your boyfriend/girlfriend, is capable of being both shocked and rocked, and is in serious danger of being murdered by Frank Zappa's guitar. Sophisticated stuff here. Enjoy?  ~  JH

1)  Scissor Sisters  ~  "Take Your Mama"

2)  Poison  ~  "Your Mama Don't Dance"

3)  Maggie Rose  ~  "I Ain't Your Mama"

4)  Frank Zappa  ~  "My Guitar Wants To Kill Your Mama"

5)  Tanya Tucker  ~  "What's Your Mama's Name"

6)  Suzi Quatro  ~  "Your Mama Won't Like Me"

7)  a-ha  ~  "Between Your Mama And Yourself"

8)  Debbie Gibson  ~  "Shock Your Mama"

9)  Ten Years After  ~  "Rock Your Mama"

10)  Little Texas  ~  "Your Mama Won't Let Me"

11)  Norah Jones  ~  "Tell Yer Mama"

12)  Amber Dotson  ~  "I Ain't Your Mama"

13)  Spin Doctors  ~  "Yo' Mama's A Pajama"

14)  Vanessa Amorosi  ~  "Kiss Your Mama"

15)  The Vespers  ~  "Tell Your Mama"