Even More Weird Christmas Songs

Three Christmases ago, I posted a collection of Weird Christmas Songs. Last year around this time, I followed that up with More Weird Christmas Songs. And the hits just don't stop coming! Here's another set of oddities you're sure to enjoy, or cringe at, or both!  ~  JH

1)  Straight No Chaser ft. Kristen Bell  ~  “Text Me Merry Christmas”

2)  LCD Soundsystem  ~  “Christmas Will Break Your Heart”

3)  Grumpy Cat, Colonel Meow, Oskar the Blind Cat, Nala Cat, & Hamilton the Hipster Cat  ~  “Hard To Be A Cat At Christmas”

4)  National Lampoon  ~  “Kung Fu Christmas”

5)  Captain Dan & The Scurvy Crew  ~  “A Pirate Christmas”

6)  Cyndi Lauper  ~  “Christmas Conga”

7)  Eels  ~  “Christmas Is Going To The Dogs”

8)  Listener & Dust  ~  “It’s Christmas Time Again, So Come On Home To The FIRE”

9)  The Original Five  ~  “Please, Daddy (Don’t Get Drunk This Christmas)”

10)  The Magnetic Fields  ~  “Everything Is One Big Christmas Tree”

11)  The Futureheads  ~  “Christmas Was Better In The ‘80s”

12)  LilDeuceDeuce  ~  “Christmas Is Cancelled”

13)  The Flaming Lips  ~  “Christmas At The Zoo”

14)  SpongeBob SquarePants  ~  “Don’t Be A Jerk (It’s Christmas)”

15)  The Goons  ~  “I’m Walking Backwards For Christmas”

16)  Okkervil River  ~  “Listening To Otis Redding At Home During Christmas”

17)  Morning Parade  ~  “Did I Make You Cry On Christmas Day? (Well, You Deserved It!)”

18)  Sufjan Stevens  ~  “That Was The Worst Christmas Ever”

19)  Dora Bryan  ~  “All I Want For Christmas Is A Beatle”

20)  Set It Off  ~  “This Christmas (I’ll Burn It To The Ground)”

21)  Slow Club  ~  “It’s Christmas, And You’re Boring Me”

22)  Loretta Lynn  ~  “I Won’t Decorate Your Christmas Tree”

23)  Kenny Chesney  ~  “All I Want For Christmas Is A Real Good Tan”

24)  Elton John  ~  “Ho! Ho! Ho! (Who’d Be A Turkey At Christmas?)”

25)  Cheetah Girls  ~  “Cheetah-licious Christmas”

BONUS TRACK:  Sufjan Stevens  ~  “Barcarola (You Must Be A Christmas Tree)”  (It felt wrong somehow to include two Sufjan Stevens songs in the post proper [especially considering that song # 17 was also written by him], but here’s another weird one from The Weird One. Great song, though, actually.)

20 Different Versions Of “Carol Of The Bells”

It's that time of year again...when I drag out a classic Christmas song we all know and love and find a number of different versions of it and gather them all in one place. (Hint: Right here.) And the key word is "different." Herein you'll find the song rendered by human voices alone, you'll hear full orchestra, mass choir, hip-hop, dubstep, metal core, boys' choir, and alternative versions, just to name a few. I dare ya to listen! Oh, and enjoy!  ~  JH

1)  Pentatonix  (Gorgeously intricate rendition by the current kings [and queen] of a cappella.)

2)  Trans-Siberian Orchestra  (Actual title: “Christmas Eve/Sarajevo 12/24”)  (Classic orchestral/heavy metal medley of “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen” and this particular carol.)

3)  Family Force 5  (I don’t even know how to describe this one. Weird? Terrible? Inventive? Slightly off? Perhaps it’s all of the above.)

4)  BarlowGirl  (One of my favorite “girl groups” sings one of my favorite carols in a medley with “Sing We Now Of Christmas.” Breathtakingly beautiful!)

5)  DeStorm Power   (There just *had to* be a hip-hop version of this song out there somewhere, right? Yup. And this is it.)

6)  Capital Kings  (And a dubstep version, apparently.)

7)  August Burns Red  (Then there’s the metalcore rendition that you’ve all been waiting for. No? Well, maybe you should listen anyway. It’s rather awesome!)

8)  Celtic Woman  (It almost seems like the song was written for them to sing. Great stuff!)

9)  Sesame Street Cast ft. Jennifer Hudson  (A Dreamgirl and Muppets. What else is there to say?)

10)  David Hicken  (Never heard of this guy before, but he tickles the ivories quite adeptly.)

11)  Straight No Chaser  (Because we needed a more traditional a cappella version of the song, I suppose.)

12)  Mormon Tabernacle Choir  (And a mass choir with handbells version, of course.)

13)  Libera  (Something about a choir of boys dressed like wingless angels just screams Christmas! And weird. It most definitely also screams weird.)

14)  The Piano Guys  (Like the TSO song above, this is a medley of “Carol” and “God Rest Ye.” I dunno why he calls himself “The Piano Guys,” but he sure can play a mean cello!)

15)  Jessica Simpson  (This is what happens when a singer of generally vapid pop songs bothers to actually record “real” music. She should do so more often.)

16)  Fallulah  (Slower, darker, and vaguely menacing. Definitely different. In other words, I like it.)

17)  Kenny G  (Medley of “Carol” and “We Three Kings.” Leave it to a saxophonist to provide a breath of fresh air to an oft-recorded tune. Pun fully  intended. And fully awful.)

18)  Josh Wilson  (I’ve seen this guy work his magic in concert. This may sound like the work of a full band, but I’ll bet you he played nearly every note and instrument you hear all by himself.)

19)  The Calling  (To all these other renditions, I add this post-grunge/alternative rock offering. You’re welcome?)

20)  Richard Carpenter  (The only thing this one’s missing is Richard’s sister Karen’s velvety vocals. One thing it could do without is all the cheesiness. But I guess it was the '70s...so there ya go!)